"Stopped smoking and dreams got crazy. Eyes opened, dreams turned into reality.
I can’t wait for you baby. I’m on that spiritual crusade and you were my lastest casualty."
A quote I wrote back in 2020 when I was attempting to quit smoking that green. Its funny because it's 2023 and I am never in this reality. In the quote I talk about letting go of the things the seduce me into a darker life. From escaping with weed, me to wanting physical to my denterments to diving into rich and creamy foods of my gluttony. Those are what dime my divine path. I mean, the darker life definitely offers the fun and pleasure but not the fulfilment and want I have for my life.
But I find myself at a crossroad yet again. I still struggle with indulging in things that I know are not good for me. It is mostly the green and pleasure that comes with it. A few months ago, I tried to not smoke weed for about 30 days. I believe I completed about 24 successful days. It was great and I really was happy and productive.
At first I was nervous I would not be as creative or fun. And then I was also wondering how intenancy would work. That's mostly because when I smoke I literally turn into a waterfall with a single touch. Yeah, I was worried I was going to lose those things because I did think they were brought out by weed. That wasn't the case! Towards like two weeks in, I really was able to understand my sober self. And start to harness my powers that I thought I 'unlocked' through weed but were really falsely relieved to me.
But I ended up moving across country. On top of the stress of school, I ended up going right back to old habits. I currently am smoking only concentrate and no flower but daily and as soon as I wake up. So I am very much back in it but not super heavy. Spring is also right around the corner so having more activities outside will help me to get my mind off of smoking. It's pretty hard to kick any habit in the dead of a Midwest bleak winter. It's also crazy how cheap carts in Michigan are. I got 6 for like $50, that is absurd! But I am on my last one and am trying to not buy more. I need to get myself out of this THC chokehold.
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